Life is so weird right now�I feel like I�m going mad. Honestly. Mad.
Maybe I�ll tell you about it one day, but right now I don�t even understand it myself. I tried to explain things to Matt and ended up confusing him�so what hope in hell do I have of trying to communicate my madness in writing? I really don�t think it�d work. I can�t even communicate my uni work in writing at the moment. And I have a 3500 word portfolio in in 3 days�and I�ve done 200 words. So this is why I think I�m mad�
I�m not even starting to panic yet�because it doesn�t seem real
But�
Even if I can�t do my uni work, I�ve proved to myself that I CAN:
Overcome my HUGE phobia that I have when it comes to my wrists�look what I had done on Friday!!!�
�and I can gather up all my courage (and relish the fact that NOTHING seems real right now) and go to the piercing studio to FINALLY get my nose pierced (I�ve wanted it for ages�years�but I�m a WIMP!), check out my moody pose (and my weird alienesque head�)
the tattoo didn�t feel all that bad�it was REALLY sharp in some places, and I had to watch him do it because at one point I looked away and it seriously felt like I was being sliced open!! When he coloured the wings in (using the liner needle because they�re SO WEENY!) it just felt hot and weird�but nice. When I hold my arm by my side you can�t see any of my bats from behind, and you can only see a tiny bit from the front BUT it�s not going to be as easy to cover up as I thought it would because Matt wanted to do it higher up than I originally planned (and he was right)�so I�m gonna have to get a real CHUNKY watch if I want to cover it�but right now why bother? Lol ;o)
�my piercing was just�.ARGH! The girl who did it for me is ACE and wonderful at her job, and I�m really glad that I asked her to do it because I don�t think I�d have coped as well if someone else had done it. First of all, I totally didn�t expect that it�d hurt as much as it did when the needle went through (cuz certain annoying people ;o) have said that theirs didn�t hurt at all and actually felt NICE � so I�m never going to have kids because if I can�t take a nose piercing and she can, then I�ll DIE during childbirth!!)�and then there was BLOOD (which is normal if you are prone to nosebleeds anyway, and I am) and lots of watering eyes�and then, the inner skin of my nostril swelled up so she couldn�t get the ring all the way through. She assured me that this happened to a few people and I was just unlucky (but bear in mind, my wrist has swollen up cuz of my tattoo�as did my ankle when I had that done. I think I just have a wimpy stupid body with swelly puffety skin!) and then she had to fiddle with the ring and slowly try and pop it out through the hole while I lent against the couch back with my nose in the air, keeping perfectly still but mewling like a pitiful little kitty, catching blood and tears in a tissue. I was SO brave. Ha ha ha�but it�s done now, and I�m even considering having the other side done OR another one next to this one when it�s healed (maybe not for a WHILE after it�s healed�lol) I�m not going to keep the ring in I don�t think�as soon as it�s all normal I�m going to put a little blue crystal stud in it to match my blue labret ball (and my eyes of course)
*is happy*
�and Matt�s planning my roses for my shoulder (and being very skeptical about how big I want them�but bigger is better!) and hopefully we should be starting them soon. I�m planning things out properly in my head (even though I can�t concentrate on the fucking uni work I am planning some huge ink, seriously and with LOTS of thought. Too much in fact�) and so far this is the plan:
I�ve ALWAYS wanted a koi carp, swimming upwards to symbolise ambition, motivation and strength�and for the past two-ish years I�ve wanted my koi on my right arm, swimming up to my shoulder. Japanese stylee :o)
The other arm has always been reserved for something new skool, thickly outlined, brightly coloured, funky SOMETHING�and then my love for roses (and reading too many tattoo magazines) made me want three FAT roses on my shoulder and upper arm, in an arc shape, with one totally dominating my entire shoulder (over the joint) and the other two nestling to the sides, underneathish, with cute little skulls peeping out of the buds.
�and so now I�ve decided to match the right shoulder up with a HUGE crysanthamum and two smaller peonies either side, with the koi leaping up into them�
and my back is DEFINITELY going to incorperate a green man�and I really really want this evil looking ram�s skull across my shoulders to represent my temper, my coldness, but ultimatly, that even though I can be ugly, I�m a true aries underneath�passionate, loyal and loving. I just let the bad parts of me get in the way. To be honest, it won�t really matter about me having something like that because if I have to cover up my shoulder tattoos the I�ll have to wear something high-necked that�ll cover my back anyway.
�and finally, my last DEFINATE is a mean little chilli that�s going to go on my inner right ankle to match my cherries on the left. I�ve got nothing on the right side of my body right now and, as I think about it, I suddenly feel VERY unbalanced!!!
Okay�this was only going to be short but look, I�ve managed to aboid work for ages. Why is is I can concentrate fully on this and ignore the TV but when I try and work I just end up spinning round in my chair, craning my neck to watch some crap or other. It feels like there�s two of me and the one who wants to work is weaker than the big old lazy one. Gah�
MWA!
Commissioned from:
Last Lemon Productions!
