Don�t you hate weeks off??? I mean, I�ve had a great week off and had loads and loads of sleep (which I usually deny myself�I�m going to be a hag) but already it�s Sunday morning (an illegal hour (8.30) on Sunday morning may I add�and I�ve walked the dog and had a cuppa already. There�s something horribly wrong with me!!) and I�m faced with a day of bedroom tidying (or crap removal) and then tomorrow I�m back to work. Unhappy face.
The only up side to going back to work (I�m ashamed to say) is that I can keep up with things online again! We don�t have broadband at the flat so if I want to use the internet I�ve got to go to my parent�s house to do it and then I generally feel shitty that I�m going round there and installing myself in the desk chair and not moving for a couple of hours. I�ve felt really weird wanting to write stuff in my diary and not being able to�I guess I could have pulled out ye olde laptop (actually, it�s pretty good�I threw out the one made of stone a few months ago when I got this one) and saved a few entries to upload all at once, but then that�s the other problem with being with matt for the most of the week�he always wants to know what I�m writing and gets upset when I�m secretive, but�.and this sounds stupid�I�m really embarrassed about what I write. There�s certain people I don�t mind reading it, but I definitely don�t want it being read when it�s only half-written, and I worry that he�ll think there�s something wrong with me if he reads this rubbish!!! :o)
Anyway, so�what an eventful-ish week! Can something be eventful-ish? Oh dear�futurama is on, I don�t hold much hope for the rest of this entry�to be honest, it�ll probably make my entry more like my week�weird and disjointed.
On Tuesday, Kate and I decided to practice for when we�re old Ladies and went shopping at Hatton Country World. Our plan was to drink coffee (okay, so it isn�t tea�but we were only practicing) footle around the shops and maybe pet a goat* and it turned out being much more about the practicing for oldness than I thought. First we drove around for half an hour, only to return to the same place I�d started out, just to drive a tiny bit further up the road and make a different turn. Okay, so I�m usually pretty good with directions�I say this, but then on the way back I made yet ANOTHER mistake. On the way there we�d turned right off the main road, so, I therefore concluded that I�d have to turn LEFT onto the main road. This would have been an accurate conclusion, except that it wasn�t the same main road that we�d pulled off (do NOT ask how, Hatton is in another dimension or something) and turning left meant that instead of ending up in Solihull, I ended up pointing out Warwick castle. Once again, do NOT ask.
Cutting a long (and embarrassing) story short, it not only took us an hour and a half to make a journey that should take about forty-five minutes, but then it took us another hour and half to get home, what with discovering Warwick and then having to navigate back through the outskirts of Birmingham. And what could we have been doing instead? Drinking. And eating. IN THE PUB! Damn my directional skills. Needless to say we were both crying with laughter by the time I pulled up outside Kate�s house�so it was well worth it :o)...and for her version of the events...read this...
*Okay, I�m going to have to start loving them�my mid-note�Grandpa bought me a gorgeous jumper for Christmas (I�m just sorry he never got to see it�but I don�t know, I�m sure he can see it from where he is now) and, on later inspection of the tag (never inspect it before you buy it otherwise you discover it�s hand wash only and then deny yourself a gorgeous top) found it to be made of mohair the - hair of mo - which is actually goats hair (dontcha know). So, a goat is a mo�and if you put one in your garden it will crop the lawn, making goats the original lawn mo-er :o) oh what fun, I love the hair of mo, even if it is also the hair of itchiness! Mid-note over�
MORE MISDIRCTED WANDERINGS
Matt and I now have a new rule. We�re not allowed to go shopping (food shopping) when stoned, without a shopping list. We left his brother�s house in a smoky haze yesterday, with the vague need for �something�. This something was primarily dog food, a thing we knew we needed, but as soon as I walked through the door I wanted donuts (I even said �I know I�m giving in to supermarket ploys but I want donuts now they�ve piped the smell to me�). As I made my way to the donuts I remembered we needed bread, and then as I got to where the bread should have been I remembered we were in a different branch to the one we usually use and so nothing was where I thought it was. We spent the next hour saying things like �oh, and we just need�� and �hang on, I�ve just got to get X and I�m done� (accompanied by �Oh! And X��) and mostly we spent our time looking for something to �go with custard�. It was only after we�d chosen a few different types of cake that we realised we had nothing for dinner�
FILM CRITICS CORNER
Wednesday was Harry Potter night! Well, we went to see Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire anyway :o) it was ACE! Wow, I just returned to the 80�s with the use of a single word! We arrived a little late so we ended up asking people to �budge up� and missed the first couple of minutes, but I loved it and I�m vowing to buy The Prisoner of Azkaban on DVD as soon as I get paid (in a millennium�s time�or so it seems�16 days!). It�s something like three hours long and at one point I was thinking �No! No no no�it�s going to finish soon and I don�t WANT it to! *mental stamping of feet* Oh! Actually�there�s loads left to go! Yay! Woohoo! Now shut up, you�re missing it�� hee hee�yes, it may be cheesy but the actors/children are growing up and improving on their acting skills, making each new film less and less pukesome and sentimental. I can�t wait til the next one!!! Oh! And the best bit about this one?? TRIGGER!!! (Roger Lloyd-Pack) As Barty Crouch Snr!!! When he came on screen, Matt turned to me and whispered �How much would you laugh if he turned to Harry and said �Alright, Dave?��� and I had to smack him for making me snort loudly during a quiet bit. Sometimes I wonder how I miss these things?!? Perhaps Matt is actually a wit-vampire, a fun-sucker if you will�he leeches onto the intelligent ideas in my head and presents them as his own wit�I should have known.
I wish we could have taken Krysi to see it, but we were both worried about taking her to a three-hour film. I trust her attention span because I will no longer underestimate the powers of a film to keep kids enraptured, but I didn�t relish the trips to the toilet in a packed cinema, and the possible scariness. She really wants to see King Kong though�she�s into monkeys (possibly because I have some in my car that she�s always played with) and the last time we took her to Burger King (yes�junk food�but we�re only her part-time parents, so we get to feed her junk and spoil her) they were giving away toys with the kids meals. Matt was �raaaar� ing her King Kong head at her and saying �are you scared of the big monkey?� she replied with �NO! Daddy! He [King Kong] is NOT a monkey�HE, is a Gorilla!� and a little smug grin. Which told him. Once again though, three hour film, big scary monkey (yeah yeah, he�s an ape�so sue me 6 year old) and packed ness. So that�s met with a resounding NO WAY.
TIME WARP
Do you feel that funny headed, wibbly-stomached feeling you get when travelling through time? No? Well you should�It�s 3 hours later now and I�m in a completely different county!!! �Wow� I hear you uttering with no conviction whatsoever! No, really�I had to add this as a kind of crappy finisher and because I�m very pleased :o)
Fletch (puppydogpig) has been giving Matt and I a few problems, as I�m sure anyone with a puppy can testify�I�m not one to liken dogs to children as, of course, you can�t shut a child in the kitchen with plenty of water and chew toys while you go shopping�BUT in some ways they are a LOT worse. Okay, so, sleepless nights, but at least you can lay your child in a cot/bouncer/something comfy and be fairly confident you can take your eyes off it for a couple of seconds. There was a time when we couldn�t trust him at all and a second unobserved would see him with his nose in someone�s drink (balancing on the arm of a chair to get there no less) or chewing on something electrical�aaaanyway, our other problems with him included incurable car sickness and the inability to go to the toilet outside. He�s slowly getting better about going outside and he mostly prefers to do it outside BUT he seems very particular and will only go on brambles. Dry brambles. Weird. Weird dog.
Anyway, enough of talking about my dog�s arse�today is MONUMENTOUS because not only did he make it the 15 miles to my parent�s house without puking up (he did do some mad dribbling towards the end but he held it down like a trouper!) but when he got here he went out in the garden and, with no hesitation, dropped his arse! WOOHOO! Yes�I have reached the ultimate in sickness�being obsessed with my dog�s housetraining. You see, now we just need to teach him that yes, you can go everywhere outside, but no, you canNOT go everywhere INside! As he now treats his newspaper as �optional�. (did you notice how I said that that was enough talking about the Dog�s arse�then carried straight on with talking about it? No? Damn�I shouldn�t have said anything)
Fletch also learnt not to mess with Cats, especially when they are doing that weird primal growling they do, raaaaoooowwwwwaaaarrrrrrrrr�and Harvey (the ginger cat of much skinniness and large fluff) has learnt to improve his aim slightly.
RESOLUTION�
Ack! That was meant to be the end! I�m supposed to be room tidying!!! Anyway�in the end of year crapness I haven�t really thought of a resolution. Last year my resolution was easy to uphold�I resolved to compliment people more and as I worked in a garage (a local shop, for LO-CAL PEE-PULL) I saw at least one new person every five minutes and had plenty of complimentary ammunition (compliment cool jewellery, clothes, piercings, tattoos (and never ask what they are! Never!))�this year I don�t want to keep that as I have no wish to start complimenting the people at my work.
So�My New Years Resolutions which I have made up on the spot right now are�
* To walk the dog before work
* To buy wellie boots for the morning dog walking extravaganza
* To compliment the people I like more
* To take jokes in better spirit and not feel like I�m being berated
* To eat food all day long rather than feeling sick and virtuous during work then giving in to the stoner munchies after dinner and consuming the entire Haribo factory (minus the Pontefract cakes)* (this is the most important one) To appreciate my family and spend more time with them�no more regrets
Happy New Year�one and all :o)
Commissioned from:
Last Lemon Productions!
