Wow�I truly AM SuperLube�the other morning my last snooze went off at twenty to seven, and I turned my alarm off and closed my eyes for a minute while I enjoyed Matt cuddling me, then I got up and started to get ready. I was already in a bad mood because I�m soooo knackered it�s unbelievable (more about this later) but then, as I put my phone onto charge, I noticed that it was actually seven o clock�SHIT and FUCK I said very loudly, and I proceeded to get washed and dressed and leave the house in 18 minutes!
WHOOP!!! I am amazing! Ha ha, no, really, I should have relaxed and gotten ready slowly and gotten the later train, I�d only have been 10 minutes late for work (if that) but I was so tired I needed a big fat latte to line my stomach (and my brain) before I even started work.
SOOO KNACKERED�
FUNNY STUFF IN MY BRAIN
We were discussing chip shops for some reason the other day, and B told us about one opposite Becky (his sort-of-girlfriend-although-he-wouldn�t-admit-it)�s parent�s house in Wales. Apparently for �1 you can get a chip-portion sized portion of battered chips, like loads of mini scallops!! He said they were lush and so I said �Cool, we�ll have to go and get some one day� and he laughed at me like I was a mental person. So yes, I AM a mental person, but does anyone else see anything wrong with this? When I lived in Bradford there were no good fish and chip shops (good kebeb houses yes, good Baltis, GOD yes, but fish, (YUK) and chips (WRONG�they�re fries) in Bradford is a dream. So, one day whilst enjoying my new car, driving around the Yorkshire countryside, which then turned into a trip to the Lake District, suddenly turned into a drive to Morecambe on a quest for fish and chips. We wrongly thought that a seaside town would have a chippy, but it didn�t so our quest was eventually in vain, but we LOVED it! I was driving with my Ex, Paul, and he was me ex at the time although we were living together (long story) but it was still fun and we got to talk which we needed to do.
�and when I was 16, my then-boyfriend had just learnt to drive and we used to drive from Redditch to Weston pretty much every weekend during the summer. We�d leave at about midnight on a whim, sleep at a service station, curled up in the car together, then arrive at the beach about seven. We�d grab a big greasy breakfast at a caf�, then roll a couple of smokes and spend the day lazing in the sun and waiting to find out if the sea came in far enough for us to actually see it. We had a great time.
What�s wrong with driving somewhere like that, even if it is just for a bag of mini scallops? Eventually B saw my point of view, driving at night with the summer breeze coming in the windows, listening to music, smoking, watching the sun come up as you�re driving to the beach, spending all day lazing in the sunshine, eating a FAT greasy dinner (and breakfast for that matter�yum yum yum) then driving back and listening to more tunes. God my sentences are getting long and dreamy. But it�s what I want to do!!! I just wish the dog was better in the car, so we can go for a long time. He�s crap at the moment, but we�ve got a few months to train him up for summer :o)
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They�re digging up the dogwalking field in places, and planting trees. We�re not quite sure why but we *think* may be trying to make the view prettier for the new houses�blocking the view of the council estate in other words! Oh well, even if that is what they�re doing it will provide good places for little animals to live I suppose (mostly they�re planting things that look like they�ll be tall and bushy�and they�re all really crammed together) and it�ll make the field look nicer maybe. But anyway, I�m off the point, Fletch and I were rambling all over it, following the digger tracks (and the digger actually, it was waaay off to begin with but I caught up with it�it scared the shit out of me when I rounded a tree and realised it was still in there with me�big metal dinosaur) and I was balancing on stuff and he was racing round finding sticks and nice smells, just generally having a fun time. I really wish I�d took my camera, it was so funny�as we were walking, Fletch came upon a�branch. That�s the only way I can describe it. It was about 6ft long and as thick as my arm and he WUNTED it�he leapt around it, barked at it, chewed it, tried to drag it, chewed it some more. He looked so happy, but then I said �Come on!� expecting him to have a few withdrawl symptoms over leaving it, but that he�d follow eventually. And he did. With the stick. Awww, he was so cute! He couldn�t lift it off the ground but boy, could he drag it! Sideways admittedly, although if he�d been a bit taller he could have got a better hold of it, but he�s only small at the moment :o) teeny baby, but he was dragging it really well. I think my poor doggy may have an addiction to sticks.
Later on in the walk (after a crying fit over the branch) I found two more sticks�one quite big and heavy, a mini-me of the branch, and the other the same size but with no bark�and he wanted the mini-me. Even though that was a good 3ft and as thick as the branch had been, pretty heavy too, he carried it round for half an hour. I think he�s going to have a BIG fat neck when he�s older. That�s going to be ME he�s dragging around soon.
�Pondering�when we accidentally hurt fletch (like earlier, when he was walking in front of me and stopped and I walked into him) we always say sorry to him and generally stroke him or rub it better�and when he is playing and he accidently bites and we go �Ow!�, he always licks it better as if to say he�s sorry. I wonder�did we teach him that?
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Matt thinks that students live off toast because they�re poor. This is not true. When you are poor you eat other things too like noodles and beans and more beans perhaps. Students (most of them probably, me included) live off toast because you can keep a toaster in your bedroom and students are lazy and so minimum (a tiny mother!) moving and food being the outcome, makes toast a good student food. Now here comes my point�at uni my flatmate claire (oh how I love thee clairebear and crow and hog and hogetta�I will find you again someday!) had her overbite corrected (which is a nice way of saying that they shatter your jaw to bits, take some away and then stick it all back together with pins and wire, leaving you looking like a robotic hamster) and during the 6 months or so (possibly longer) that she was all wired up she couldn�t really eat solid food. Thus, she was faced with a dilema. Cook food and puree? OR�buy baby food. Students = lazy, I�ll let you decide which way she went!!!
(note�on my first day at uni this girl broke the ice with me by asking me the most amazing question in the whole world�it made me love her and want to look after her more that you can imagine�she knocked on my bedroom door, stuck in her head and asked in the teeniest little voice �Do you know how to turn a kettle on?�)
YOWL!!!!
Was watching the Buzzcocks the other night (the programme, not the band) and on the intro�s round Bill�s team had Snoop�s �Drop it like it�s hot��and after listening to the real version, Jonathan Ross said� �Makes me feel like popping a cat in somebody�s ass!� and that amused me on so many levels�it�s just wrong.
It�s not chico time�it�s fletchy cuddle time!!! *snuggle*
Commissioned from:
Last Lemon Productions!
