Today I have to say thank you to the guy at Starbucks�Today my coffee is gooooooood�they�ve gotten it right for once. They didn�t pack the beans in too tight, the water wasn�t too hot or too cold, and it�s nice�
I also have an apple and cinamon muffin�
I�m not a greedy cow. I�m not wasting money. I�m making myself feel better. It�s a very bad day today. I don�t like today at all. I thought I�d be okay and was fine at home but as soon as I got off the train I wanted to cry.
It�s a year today�
I�ve spent the last week re-living the hellish week I was having this time last year�I can still remember the smell of the hospital, the way she snored and rasped, the way her feet were still ticklish and that made us all think that maybe she�d be okay.
I�m trying SO hard to be alright today.
I shouldn�t have come into work. I should have skived off again�
I miss her so much and I can�t even imagine what it�s like for Mom. Sometimes I don�t want to grieve because I don�t feel like I�ve got the right. I�ve lost my Nan, but Mom has lost so much more.
I really, really miss her�and I�m still so so angry�I might explore this more later. Might.
Commissioned from:
Last Lemon Productions!
