Get Your Emo Kid Now <3 Ha ha�I got that through a link on Steph�s diary and just�hahahahaha�steph, did someone make that with YOU in mind???
:o)
GOOGLAGE!!!
Google me baby, google me HARD! Oh yes, I have been googled aplenty and it makes me smile :o) come on google monkeys�keep finding me!
So far I have been found through these googles (since the last ones of course�we can�t forget Ozzy):
� Shup
� �One man and his honey bees�
� A certain steel tubing company... (oh dear�I was in the top three�)
� Broadband in western-super-mare
� Walks around Solihull
What really gets me is that if I google for the same things, my diary won�t appear til page 5 or something stupid like that�how do people EVER find me? And WHY??? Why, if you were googling �walks around solihull� would you click on my diary and NOT something like �100 walks around solihull�? I mean, I�ve just gone through 10 pages of �walks around solihull� and not found a link to me. Although, I guess what google comes up with depends on your restrictions and your service provider probably *rambles*�
WEIRDNESSSSSSSSSSS
Okay, so, besides people online going mad telling everyone 6 reasons why they are weird, I�ve had to do pretty much the same thing for my counsellor�yeah, if you ever have counselling, just watch what you say because I told her I was weird and now I have to explain myself. So, here we go�I am weird/eccentric (which I prefer) because:
1) �although I�m shy and find it hard to feel comfortable around people, when I DO feel confident and happy I will, and I promise you this, totally gross everyone else with my dirty, disgusting perverted mind. I am probably on a par with Joey (�Grandma�s Chick-en Sal-aaaad�) in that I can take ANYTHING and turn it into something rude. I think a lot of this comes from my mother�s dirty mind, and the friends I�ve chosen to hang around with�birds of a feather not only flock together but they egg each other on to see who can be the rudest. Yes Kate�it�s YOU I�m talking about�.MWA! Not only this though, because I know that everyone loves innuendos, but I just push push push things too far.
2) �and despite the fact I LOVE dirty jokes and being rude and making people blush, I can�t say ANYTHING remotely rude, without doing an impression of a radish myself. So, if you ever see me laughing my head off, looking like an embarrassed raspberry, I�m most likely saying something that would make Bernard Manning worry I was lowering the tone.
3) �I have a brain that a horror director would be proud of. It�s not good though, it�s horrible. I can only really explain it like this; recently there have been a LOT of stories of dog abuse in birmingham� A dog was tied to a tree and set alight in a park, someone found a burnt dog carcass in a bag on the field where we walk our dogs, and I�ve heard about a guy who kidnapped his ex�s dog and beat it, cut it�s ears off�god knows what else. And how does this emerge from my mind? Well, I was walking Fletch off his lead and he disappeared off by the door to another flat block and in my mind, someone was grabbing him, taking him inside and torturing him, right inside the glass door where I could see him but not do anything about it. In my head I was drumming on the door and screaming as someone cut my dogs ears off or stabbed him in front of me�and this is why I hate my brain. It also does it when I trip or something. I end up FINE, but my brain is going �Ooh, if you�d have ACTUALLY fallen you�d have cracked your head on that �something���and then I can SEE the gash, and the torn tissue and the blood�it�s why I don�t like people talking about injuries or the possibilityof something happening�my brain makes it TOO REAL! (and as well as this, I obsess over the idea of piercings, whether the lift cable is going to snap (and if it�ll do it as I�m climbing out of the lift, therefore cutting me in half�and yes, I do know lifts can�t fall, but I don�t care), if there�ll be a sharp knife hiding under the washing up bubbles, if there�s broken glass hiding where fletch can walk/lie down�it�s never ending and it�s like self-torture)
4) �paranoid? Moi? Of course I am�I�ve spent most of my life not knowing who my friends are and who I can trust, and also making bad decisions that have made me worry and feel anxious and sick�If people are talking in hushed voices at work then straight away I wonder if it�s about me, if my friends are talking without me I think I�m being left out, if a �meaningful� comment is made in my presence then I wonder why I�m being kept out of the secret. It�s mad really because I get on with most people and don�t have a problem with them. Even now I only have a few close friends but I still have to be constantly reassured�luckily I have people who know that I am like this, and who try their hardest to reassure me :o) I�m crap
5) �the kettle has to be BOILING before I can pour the water on the teabags�I don�t know why but I have it fixed in my head that doing anything else would be WRRRRRRRONG! I obsessively re-boil it if it takes me too long to get to it once it�s clicked off, and I really have to ignore what other people are doing when they make me tea, in case they do it wrong and I freak out. I think the main crux of this is a control thing�but that�s more mental than weird. I have a big control problem really, it�s not just the tea it�s everything. Lou knows best�she thinks.
6) �I am also a bit of a perfectionist. I may not be the worlds tidiest or conciencious person when it comes to housework and stuff, but I can�t post a diary entry with spelling mistakes or grammar mistakes. I mean, I WILL post it, but if I re-read it and notice something (and it could be as little as �BUIscuit� or ��I like hetm� � both of which I do LOTS) I have to go and edit it. I can�t leave it alone. If I make a mistake on a handwritten letter? �it gets screwed up, thrown away (probably into a bin with a few more screwed up attempts in it) and I start again. I just feel like people will think I�m stupid, and I know that they most likely won�t (and I have to keep reminding myself of this) but�yes. I can�t even slack at work. Loz had no guilt about posting files randomly all over the filing system, but the perfectionist in me told me I�d die of shame if anyone discovered my dodgy work. I even tidied up after him, the lazy git!!! And I DO die of shame when people find my geniuine mistakes. I�m only in Admin, but�I care damnit. Too much.
Okay, so that�s 6 and although there�s a lot more I would probably be echoing everything I�ve read�I have problems talking on the phone, I am mortifyingly shy sometimes, I can�t tell people how I feel, I hide my upsets and disappointments and I feel like I prolongue my own misery. I am SO weird�I sing and talk (seriously) to the dog, I talk to people in other cars (and yes, I know they can�t hear me) � encouragement and insults � I constantly quote randomly from films and TV programmes, I like putting on sunglasses and looking at the sky (and encouraging others to do the same), I sing and dance more than is (mentally) healthy for me (anywhere, everywhere, in the car, at work, at home, in public�), I want people to look at me but I get shy and uncomfortable when they do, I NEVER tell people what I want, I hide my emotions behind anger and rage, I�m the most forgetful person you could ever hope to meet (evidence below)�there�s a list as long as Vernon Kay�s (Bo Selecta) arm.
But I know better than anyone that it�s GOOD to be weird�who wants to be a norm? Who cares what anyone thinks?�blah!
SUNSHINE�LOLLIPOPS AND�RAINBOWS�
The weather has been amazing! It�s been so uplifting going to work in the sun and warm breezes�okay, so it�s tipped it down like a mofo today but it�s been okay because I�ve been inside enjoying the peace and quiet :o) no kids outside yelling and smashing stuff up, no one thundering around upstairs�bliss�and the work-time sunshine (yea! A rhyme!) has more than made up for it, with lunch in the park every day!
Me and Jess have had some very chilled lunches overlooking the cathedral (which is small and churchlike�.birmingham swindled it�s way into citydom)�
It�s been good to get out with fletch too, and I�ve bought him some new toys�
�which he has consequently DESTROYED�
but it was okay because I got them both from the poundshop!�and speaking of destruction, Matt went out the other day and although he pulled the living room door closed (i.e. the door to the hallway), he didn�t close the door from the kitchen to the living room (we leave it propped open with a spanner, very classy) so Fletch had a wondeful four hours in the kitchen AND the living room and when I got back I found clothes pulled off the washer, biscuits (left on living room table) eaten and sofa cusion (one of the ones you sit on) TOTALLY destroyed�take a look�
�and imagine all of that scattered across a LARGE living room. I looked around for about 30 seconds before breaking into giggles and calling Matt�I think I may be getting my rage under control ;o) but it�s okay, because it�s a good incentive (besides comfort) to get a new sofa. It�s so funny�I don�t know HOW he got the cushion out of the cover, I can only presume it tore off on a sharp, broken bit of the frame when he pulled it off the sofa. Naughty little dog�he didn�t half get a telling off through my laughter, but I think he was very very sorry�oh god, we can NEVER let him loose in the house alone. But at least he didn�t touch our chocolate stash (which wasn�t hidden), nor my trainers or handbags, or magazines, and he didn�t pee anywhere. Result. :o)
�
Oh! And Kate bought me THIS!!! It�s amazing and lovely and is called Bud (although we are throwing other names into the hat�Phil is one, and possibly Bob?)�I just hope Dave doesn�t streal it in a revenge kidnapping! I�ve stuck him (the flower, not Dave) on my intray at work, and he makes me smile everytime I get a new piece of work :o)
�is it okay to think that a pink flower is a boy?
My cubes want in on the action too�
I almost caught them waving, but the camera was too slow and then they went in a professional huff and refused to pose. Gits.
And as if that wasn�t more evidence of my weirdness, I had to record this�
I am SO forgetful that I have to write myself notes whilst cooking now, lest I forget to put something on to cook, or forget that it�s cooking altogether and leave it to burn. A few months ago I forgot there were waffles under the grill and I turned the grill OFF after we ate but STILL forgot they were under there. Matt found them 2 weeks later when we next used it, black and burnt and slightly fuzzy around the edges�
And, I found this in PetsAtHome, and I didn�t want to buy it but I did have to try and stop laughing long enough to take a picture�which was very hard with Matt giggling and whispering ��quick!!!��
And look at the dog himself, using sunshine as a blanket�
�and in more amusement�I was looking around on this site, which the lovely Moo directed me to, and especially looking at the number plates I could get (and wow, there are some I want and can afford�can I stop myself?) when we noticed this advert�
�and I�m sorry, but I didn�t stop laughing for about 15 minutes, and constantly repeating the words �I never thought I�d see Chris Tarrent with a �chubb� across his chest,� and ��he�s got a full on, personalised, chris tarrant chubby!��but seriously?�
�CHU8B�s for me and my love of chubb fishing�
�I think it�s fun!�
Yes Chris�if you like fishing for chubb�s (see, I told you everything is rude to me) then you go for it!
:o) :o) :o)
There was more, but I�ve been at this for so long and it�s time to make some big fat dinner! I�m sooooo into food right now but I can�t be arsed to cook so it�s beef tonight and I�ll risk the panda coming round. A shed load of mash and all will be good. YUM YUM�oh, and we, very greedily, bought a BIRTHDAY cake that was on offer (sooooo cheap�.soooooo gooooood) and so we will probably be eating a LOT of that too�fat barstewards that we are :o)
MWA! And smiles and sunshine and bumble bees to you!
Commissioned from:
Last Lemon Productions!
