I keep catching myself being upset...stupid aren't I? WEIRD aren't I??
Earlier I walked over to the trays and put some work away...and noticed Monday's work. I won't be here to do any work on Monday, I thought...and then I suddenly realised that when I leave on Friday that's IT.
I. T.
IT.
I really don't get why I'm bothered because I HATE doing this job. With PASSION. So why is it that the idea of never being here to have a laugh with Poonam and Surj and Dave and everyone else makes my chest tighten up and my eyes all teary???
PARANOIA�
�okay, so if it wasn�t bad enough that I ALREADY think that everyone is talking about me, but now something really is going on behind my back. Poonam and Dave have been whispering and giggling together about something�occasionally cackling like witches, and at one point when I went near them while they were doing this they went all �ssh� and �that was close� in whispery voices (but then again my ears are awful and I never hear anything correctly so I could be wrong�)�and besides that, people have been going up to Dave�s desk, crouching down or leaning over and then going away. Hmmm. Signing a card? Who knows. But they�re doing *something* and it�s driving me MAD!!!
It�s bad because it means a surprise, but it�s worse because it could mean me standing up in front of people�this is SCARY. I like being the centre of attention but I don�t like it when everyone is looking at me�and only at me�and someone is talking about me�and they are all smiling (or looking bored which is worse) and this has NEVER happened to me before (apart from when I ask a question in a class or a meeting�or if I choose to ANSWER a question (eek scary) because I like to prove I know things, BUT, I don�t like having to say it in front of all those people) and I am worried beyond belief *trembles*�
I might just cry a little bit and that�s possibly the worst thing of all�
Scratch might.
WILL!!!
Commissioned from:
Last Lemon Productions!
