Life is a bit poo at the moment. Not really for me but for the people I love. And that makes it poo for me too.
It�s all down to communication.
Communication is a bad thing because sometimes when it breaks down in one direction you start thinking that you have no one to turn to. So often I have a problem that I feel like I need to talk out, but there�s no one that I can approach because they either have problems of their own, or they�ve reacted to me in a weird way before. I�ve been closed off from everyone, but I�ve made some amazing friends on here who have stuck by me through my problems, and their own problems�it�s weird how people who know me so little seem to know me so well.
Right now I feel selfish for being upset�but I�m not upset for me. I�m upset for people that I love who are going through some awful times. I�m sorry that I�ve not helped more before and that I�ve been closed off in my own world of grief and paranoia. I can�t help being a selfish person, but I can help the fact that I let it over come me. I don�t want to be this person anymore.
I have a lot to thank my friend Sadie for�she�s been so amazing recently because she�s got a LOT on her plate all of a sudden and yet she�s still sat and listened to me moan and whine about all the things that are driving me crazy. We had the best night out on Tuesday�we only went for food and a chat, but she showed me this AMAZING restaurant-type-bar thing where we ate gorgeous food and laughed until the room almost fell in on our heads and ate MORE food and reassured each other and just had so much fun�I road tested my new boots and coat�but the pictures of my boots are crap�here I am in the toilets of �Apres� in Solihull�
We sat in a biiiig massive booth with really high sides so no one could really see us apart from the bar staff. It was really seculded but we made LOADS of noise and cackled like witches�After we�d eaten it was about 7.30 and all of a sudden�.the lights went down�a waiter brought us this�
�and then this burst into life in the main bar next to our booth�
(it�s a disco ball in case the picture turns out rubbish)�and then Sadie sang me a serenade in which I do believe I was Louisa Pepperpot and she was Sadie Salt�
�oh! I love her so! She always wants to hear about me, no matter how much I try and talk about how things are with her. She worries too much and I love her for it because I worry about her too. I can�t believe I�ve known her less than a year and she�s still my friend even though I�ve piled a load of crap on her. I�m really lucky :o) I'm lucky to have people like Moo and Noli who have been so lovely and supportive towards me today. I can't ever forget how much you've lifted my spirits and made me feel like I'm not going mad myself.
I send you all love and hugs because when times are hard you need a cuddle and I know that there are lots of people out there who are having just as hard a time as I am right now x x x
Commissioned from:
Last Lemon Productions!
