This morning I indulged in the quiet pleasure of a darkened train carriage. I can�t put my finger on what made it so nice, but there was something surreal about sitting in the dark, reading by the light of the tiny strip above the door. Very intimate and cosy. The fact I was sitting on a heater (under my chair of course) only added to the overall loveliness and dried my icy gloves off too! Result! Back of the net! Jurassic Park! (YAY! I love that site! BANG! I�m James Bond)
Anyway, so, I�m sat there in the dark, reading my new Ben Elton book (new to me anyway), and loving it (the book, not the dark�well, actually, I WAS loving the dark�ANYWAY�) and I started randomly gazing around the, relatively empty, carriage at the other commuters (I�m so posh, I�m a commuter!). Usually the train is packed first thing, I�m putting the emptiness down to cold weather and the fact that the rest of the bastard world probably has these three days off that I�m having to work. Ho fucking Hum�as I was saying�when the train is full I don�t look around too much because I have a tendency to stare at people and what they�re doing. This isn�t necessarily a problem until you consider that even though the object of your interest isn�t looking back at you, there are tens of people in your near vicinity who are probably watching you, watching them�and when I watch I make the face that is known as Eeeeeeviiiiiil! And�back to the point�so, I can observe people in a carriage that has a meagre population�and I observed that a lot of people seem to sit there and waste the bloody time! So, it�s 20 minutes either way, and most of these people are waiting on the platform for a good 10 minutes. I know I�m no terribly-efficient woman (she�s amazing) but at least I get my daily dose of novel in during the boredom that is �the journey�. How do these people keep their sanity? They stare at the bushes, the train track, the other people. The train comes. They stare out of the window, at the walls of the train, at the other people. They get off the train. They go to work in a FUG.
I however remain firmly buried in my book until it is a) time to board the train b) time to get off the train c) time to stop at a station and I�m wondering if it�s mine�or d) time to STARE! I�m a stare bear. Ooh! Maybe when I have my little care bears heart tattooed on my bottom I�ll get �stare bear� instead of care bear written on it? Yay!
Other Train related questions in my head are�why the hell did the train smell like hot fairy liquid last night? It was like my nasal passages were getting the fairy treatment! All hot and chemically clean�one of those smells that feels like you really shouldn�t be breathing it in! I think someone must have poured fairy liquid onto a heater in a mad bout of insanity�cleaning products? On a train? Are you mad??? There�s only space for puke and mushed in burgers here!
Oh yes�and staring old Asian guys who have never seen a person writing apparently. They have to stare and whisper to each other behind their piece of glass that they think I can�t see them through. Damn that glass for not hiding your nosey, snooping faces�I�m writing Biatch, NOT dancing a naked fandango.
CARS!
Yesterday was a great day for car spotting! I really am a car spotter�I have an irresistible urge to get out my phone, take a picture and add the car to my �collection�. I put the word collection in scare quotes as it is not a collection that exists in reality�for in reality I�m too much of a coward to take pictures in case the car owner sees me and calls the police or something.
Anyway�
A Hummer! No, not someone humming on a scrotum�a H2 that was a shiny shiny black with sexy chrome bits and while I don�t like gas guzzling eco-destroyers, I kind of liked this in the way it made me feel very small.
A Bentley! I have no idea what model this was but it was charcoal grey and lovely lovely�kind of reminded me of a normal saloon car, just inflated a bit all over�the bonnet was deeper, tyres fatter, roof higher, windows bigger�.just BIG and not big in an ostentatious Hummer (fair enough a poxy British-sized Hummer) type of way, just in an expensive, lush and lovely car kind of way.
What is it about cars??? Why do I think about them so much???
SHE'S BACK!
Okay�so,Kate has finally gotten back in contact! No, not Kate-Lee, but Kate (henceforth known as Moggy)�our SUPPOSED mate. Kate and I haven�t spoken to Moggy in well over 6 months�well, Kate has had text messages from her, and replied to them but I haven�t heard hide nor hair (what a weird expression).
Anyway, the basic is that Kate announced her pregnancy on Friends Reunited and Moggy saw it and got in contact. She even asked her how I was and if I was okay�rather than ask me herself. I see things with Moggy rather like this� we have been without her for so long and we haven�t missed her so why have her back? She is like one of those things in the attic that you won�t throw away because you insist that you�ll use it sometime�however, you never do use it and in between looking at it and deciding not to throw it away and the next time u look at it and decide not to throw it away, you don�t even think about it and are surprised when you see it again. She is old clothes. In a bin bag.
I can remember all the fun we had with her and that makes me miss her, but then I remember the fact that she�s missed my last two birthdays due to a) no money (she�d spent it) and b) her sister crying (both of these revelations were told to me over the phone as I stood in the pub�the second year I was stood on my own waiting for her). When I think of this I just think NO NO NO NO NO I do NOT want to see that hateful bitch. The last text she sent me was two days after my mom�s birthday (I remember cuz it was my Ann Summers party) and she texted to say she couldn�t come to the party as she was in London. This was two days AFTER the party. That was the last I heard and since then she�s only asked how I am through Kate. I get the feeling that maybe she knows she�s in the wrong and is fearful of approaching me herself in case I tell her to bugger herself with a bit of bamboo�hee hee, that made me laugh�so she�s asking through Kate so that if I DO want to see her I�ll get the message and then contact her myself, therefore relieving her of the worry of saying hello and not knowing how I will react. She has a VERY long wait.
It�s horrible when things like this happen�and weird too. At school Kate and I were friends but never CLOSE, yet I thought of Moggy as being a friend I would never lose. We leave school and Moggy starts out on her quest to become an adult while Kate and I carry on being inane and generally enjoying ourselves rather than sitting with a straight back (that�s the keystone to being grown up you know) or talking about mortgages�and even now, Kate is pregnant and rather than being all middle aged about it we�re already planning on how best to shape her child in our evil image ;o) friendships should be fun, not hard work�and they should be with people you get along with and who celebrate your madness, not with people who are snooty to the point of having a snout and who mock you when you do something that isn�t �norrrrrmaaaaal�
GRR!
Big hugs to Kate though! Well done for posting on friends reunited�when she read that she must have known exactly how much we care about her. NONE.
Mwizzles�
Commissioned from:
Last Lemon Productions!
